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THOUGHTS ON SPAM (Not including Virus Warnings)

How often do you get SPAM in your box? Every now and then I get some of the infamous "forwards" from people who think they are helping you out by sending them. The things that I am talking about are like the following:

  1. The small child dying of some disease and her last request is to send this letter around the world, to as many people as possible, to enlighten us of a new disease or...insert your favorite SPAM cliché here.
  2. The "new" e-mail tracking system that can track e-mail and you can get 5 dollars, free windoze product, tickets to Disneyland or...insert your favorite SPAM cliché here.
  3. Those horrible e-mails that have ASCII pictures that you have to scan down and watch the stupid lines go back and forth.
  4. Any letter that makes you forward it to get a wish or good luck. The classics are the ones that have "real life" quotes about what good luck people have had.

G I V E  M E  A  B R E A K ! ! ! ! ! !

Don't these e-mails get annoying after a little while?

Granted, I like a good joke as much as the next person but things like I listed above are just plain annoying.

My question to you...

How do you politely ask them to BUGGER off with these kinds of e-mails???

A solution was found in a mailing list I am subscribed, and I suggest this list to anybody that can handle it. I will show here the e-mail I have been tempted to send out time and time again. With a little editing, or A LOT of editing, it could become usable for an...acquaintance, but I hardly think it is appropriate for those you may call friends. But possibly, if you send this link to your friends, they may read this and get a clue without you having to do the dirty work. And to any of my friends visiting here, only take it as seriously as it is intended: a GREAT, deep rooted, disdain for all SPAM. We all hate SPAM don't we??

W A R N I N G !!!!!

The following is VERY RUDE and VULGAR with STRONG LANGUAGE and is RATED "R" by the internet association of America but funny as shit!!! I have included the entire message so, after reading this, if you want to subscribe to the list all the information, and warning, is there.

From: "Ernie's House of Whoop Ass"
Subject: ADMIN: Listen The Fuck Up

Here is a follow-up of the previous email that is a MUST READ for ANYBODY who has ever forwarded an email of any kind. This is a COMMON SENSE approach to forwarding email. It is long but well worth the read if you don't know much about spammers.

Signs you NEED to read this:
  1. You believe that the chainletters are real.
  2. You forward email with all the > marks still intact so it makes the message almost unreadable.
  3. You do not delete any of the names of the previous forward history of the hundered people that previously recieved the mail.
If you fall into any of the previous statements then you need to read this:

 

THOUGHTS ON VIRUS WARNINGS

Here is where you got me again. My all time, top of the list, head of the pack pet peeve that goes beyond being a mere pet peeve. Those damn virus warnings.

I think the Melissa Virus was the FIRST time EVER that I actually received an e-mail that was a no shit real virus warning that was legit...

BUT, I ask you this. Did you really need an e-mail to warn you of it????????????? The damn news still mentions it. So I stand by my original statement. Virus warning e-mailings are the most annoying e-mail I could ever get.

First of all, I have never in my life gotten a virus. And I can GUARANTEE that I go to sites, and download stuff, with a risk level 10x more than that an average user will. I still run virus software and update it just in case because you never know. The ONLY virus that I have found on anything of mine was, you guessed it, a virus I downloaded from a virus site...did I mention it was on purpose.

So if you do get a Virus Warning e-mail and you feel the urge to forward it because "this one sounds so real," then go to this link and LOOK and READ about the SPAM you just received.

---The Computer Virus Myths Homepage

Go there, read, look...then delete that damn Virus Warning e-mail and then send the originator of the e-mail the above site..DO IT NOW!!!

"Hoaxes are causing us far more trouble than any virus ever did."
-- William Orvis, U.S. Dept. of Energy Computer Incident Advisory Capability (US DoE CIAC)

 

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